Why? I’m leaving a legacy that money can’t buy.

Jun 26th, 2007

R-r-ring, r-r-ing, the doorbell rang.

I found Ann, my neighbour was at the door, yesterday.

“Chris, whad are you doing? I’ve not seen you outside for days”

“Busy. Venturing into the the internet & blogging”

“You crazy or whad?

Such stuff is for the young and reckless.

It’s exposing your life to the unknowns, out there!

So dan-ge-rous. WHY are you doing that?” came an outpour of questions from Ann.

“I agree, many young people blog. They blog on stuff close to their heart –music, games, ……… stuff that you and I may not identify with. At times, what they said, came across like a new language to me. Nevertheless, it is refreshing.

On the other hand, I’m not a rare oldie blogger. Countless blogs are done by the old and not so old. I understand & identify with their sharing better. Since I started blogging, I have found a couple of friendly, sincere bloggers. They have been very supportive and willing to help with tips on how to make my blog better.” (Folks, you know who you are & I’m listing YOU as my friends).

“I don’t see danger but have been learning daily” I replied.

“I still don’t see ‘Why?’ Your time is better spent over tea with me” rebutted Ann.

I continued “When I was younger, I kept a diary for a while. Then came other priorities.

In recent years, as the pace of my life slowed, my brain seem to slow in tandem. Perhaps due to lesser use and practice**, I am losing my English vocabulary and the ability to express myself in the language. Just a couple of days back, I tired my brain with the overload of information from the net.

Little Darling observed that and asked, “are you okay, por por?”

All I could find words to say, was “my brain is tired”.

“Oh, was your brain doing exercises?” queried the Little Darling as she got distracted by a butterfly and gave chase to it.

It took me half a day to find the appropriate term “mental fatigue”. In my head it went “mental something, wazit?” for hours.

Blogging should keep the language that I spent years to learn, alive.

It would be a journal of my golden years, n a record that I may refer to, to help me remember events.

PLUS: One day, when Little Darling learns to read on her own, she could gain more insight about me and my venturing into the internet.

It is going to be a unique legacy that money can’t buy” I added with a wink and a smile. :)

Then I went over to Ann’s place for our afternoon tea.


PS **Husband & my two daughters communicate with me in Cantonese. Most of my friends use Singlish.

Confronted the “thing”, stood my ground n won

Hi,

Am much collected now. Able to recall how I confronted the “thing” (aka computer), stood my ground and won!

Looking back, it has been more than a year since I first switched on a computer.

My 2 darling daughters, on learning my decision to duel with the “thing”. CHEERED!

2rd daughter, Ling, offered to be my mentor and aide-de-camp for the duel.

In preparation for the confrontation, Ling, my daughter/mentor imparted to me, a glossary of new words. Mastering the glossary was a mega challenge for me as I have a short term memory.

Shortly into the turtoring, I asked: “what is “……” & “what is” …….” for the umpteenth times.

Ling patiently repeated herself and then suggested: “Before you forget, write it down in your own words, what ……… means”.

As I hurriedly attempted to scribble into my notebook, Ling exhorted, ”Wait, understand first, before you write, no need to rush”,

After 2 hours, I developed a severe headache, a bad attack of confusion and the desire to throw in the towel.

“I’m sorry mum, maybe I loaded you too quickly n caused u an information overload. Rest. Don’t push yourself. Duelling the computer can be fun.” came the reassuring response from Ling.

“I can’t” I whined.

“You can. Just don’t give up” said Ling.

“Yes! you can, por-por*” piped my ‘little darling’ (aka grand-daughter) shooting a clenched, little, 4 years old fist (She is 5 years old now) into the air — very much alike a motivational speaker whom I knew.

“Yes! you can” Ling & “little darling” chorused.

Then “little darling” broke into a dance and sang as she salsa around the room.

My headache broke, and my confusion cleared — like magic; as I enjoyed my ”little darling’s” song n dance.

“Yes! I can”, I echoed them. As I punched the air with a clenched fist, I added: “YES, I could n I would”.

“Ling, continue please.”

“Let me confront this “thing”, and take it on seriously”.

As I said so, I sat, with fresh determination, in front of the computer. THEN, with much grit, I switched on the computer for the first time.

After which, I turned to my “little darling” with a chuckle, a smug smile n the tongue in cheek comment: ”Heh, heh, I got it.”

From then, days turned into weeks and weeks into months.

Meanwhile, “Little darling” has turned 5.

During that period, Ling taught me “spreadsheet” and ”wordprocessing”. In the course of which, I once, accidently erased 2 hours’ worth of her hard work in one of her projects. My heart ached, when I noticed that she courageously fought back the tears that brimmed in her eyes as she remarked: ”I should have practised what I taught; and saved my work like I’ve told you”.

A few days after that incident, as I was practising on my computer, a dialogue box popped up on the screen.

I FROZE.

“Oh no, not again” I whispered to myself, as a knot grew in my stomach.

I called out anxiously, “Ling, Ling, I’m so sorry, I must have done something which I’m not suppose to do, again”.

Ling came to me, put her arm round my shoulder saying, “mum, relax”.

After taking a look at the screen, she explained that the dialogue box was a msg from the security software which was installed in the computer. The security software was reminding us to do some updating.

From then on, as in the cliche oft quoted, “It was history.”

I have confronted my fear of the computer, challenged it, stood my ground and WON!!!

PS *”por-por” is a Cantonese (Chinese dialect) term, used in addressing or refering to our maternal grandmother.